The calm before

Sunday 13th January. General studies and law exams are tomorrow. My nerves are shattered, my revision is obviously inadequate, and my panic levels high. Ah, thank god for exams. No, no lets not thank anyone for them.

Ok, so we all know that I worry, a lot, about things that shouldn’t need worrying about but this is something that should be worried about. Alas, I’m in overdrive.

Please don’t continue reading if you’re looking for literary sustenance, because this is just a panic post. I feel as if there’s something I’ve missed out that is going to bite me on the backside come tomorrow. I had this feeling earlier this afternoon, I then discovered that I’d neglected to revise Strict Liability Offences – a phone call to my law teacher later and things were okay. So I now I’m extremely worried. I’m also slightly stressed as a result. Today’s been pretty rubbish actually. Although our Tegan and Sara tickets came! =D

So I now have a lovely pile of postcards to my left (blue for crime, green for tort, pink for remedies and yellow for sanctions) which remind me that I am incapable of condensing notes. There are nearly 100 of them. However, I think I’ve just about memorised them. And if not, well, at least writing them kept me off the streets, lol. There it is again! Perhaps I should try to cut out “lol”s from my posts?

9am Monday 14th January 2008 – General Studies 2. Well, as far as I’m aware there’s not a lot you can do in the way of revision for general studies. You either know it, or you’re a daily mail reader. However, I’m quite expecting to fail so I doubt I’ll be disappointed on that front. Besides, I’ll be too busy worrying because;

1pm Monday 14th January 2008 – Law Unit 3. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I won’t deny that I enjoy law, because I really do. But when it comes to cramming 100 cases with points of law, explanation and application of actus reus, mens rea, causation, strict liability and criminal omissions, application of mute situations, application, quotation and explanation of common and statutory laws, explanation and application of duty of care, breach of duty and remoteness of damage, assessment of liability resulting in damages and possible sanctions and sentences of defendants into 1 hours worth of words even the most concise and speedy writers struggle, so I have no chance! As you can see, I don’t do concise writing!

So it’s quite feasible that this time next year I’ll be re-sitting Law unit 3. Great! Well, I shall now go and prepare for tomorrow. I’ve already pressed my trousers, ironed my shirt and selected a suitable tie, chosen my socks, refilled my fountain pen and even decided upon which cologne to wear. But needless to say there are aspects of tomorrow morning which I have not yet considered and the chances of getting to sleep without having planned for them are inevitably nil.

Very sorry about the nature of this post. I had hoped to write something with meaning but I’m rather worried. It seems that my resolution to worry less was extremely short-lived. It’s like it’s pre-built in me. Oh well, we are who we are. Christ that sounds pretentious.

I shall write again tomorrow following the exams.

Change of path?

Ok, so to fill in the picture I’m currently revising for the first of my A level exams. A week today I have law and general studies, and it’s safe to say that the novelty of college has well and truly worn off. I’m currently on a, slightly deserved (it must be said,) break from re-revising sanctions and sentencing. I was so pleased when I finally managed to recite the 10 sections of the Criminal Justice Act 2003 that we have to memorise in order to justify our generic babbling on the topic of sentencing that I decided to give myself a break from writing. Strangely this seemed like something different to do.

Recently the imminent exams have been very much at the forefront of my mind. Revision has become the main staple of my routine and other things have taken a back seat. I say that as though it’s a bad thing, but for me it definitely isn’t. You see, when it comes (or rather came) to exams I’ve normally always taken the mindset of “I know what I need to know, and I’ll revise the rest later if I get time.” Now of course, procrastination takes its toll and eventually you reach the week before the exam and realise that you know pathetically little. Thankfully, however, GCSEs can be passed without masses of revision providing you listened during the lessons. However it seems that unless you read, re-read, summarise, revise and re-revise every aspect of the A level course you are doomed to failure. It’s a strange type of pressure which I think, or rather hope, I’m actually managing to deal with.

That’s right, I just raised a positive point! In contrast with my usual style of criticising everything and anything that’s wrong in the world recently I’ve really started to see the bright side! For example, I expected to be feeling pretty crap around this time and actually I’m pretty mediocre (in a good way) and things that used to really bug me are now starting to pass me by blissfully. Now I really feel as though I should write about something negative, sombre or thought-provoking right about now but to be quite honest I’d rather bask in the moment.

I don’t know quite what to pin my current state on, but that’s not going to stop me trying! Firstly I’ve been quite relieved recently, various stresses have dwindled and my lack of sleep has been greatly compensated for over the Christmas holidays. Secondly, I’m quite hopeful for the near future – thing’s seem to be looking up. And thirdly, and most importantly, the people around me (by which I mean emotionally [ie, friends] not physically) are by far the most amazing people I’ve ever countered and I really thrive in their presence. You know who you are, thank you!

So yeh, I guess this goes some way to prove that we all cycle in our emotions to a degree. Obviously some people less than others, and some people more. And also that sometimes you can find relative happiness in the strangest of places. I’d say I’m the type of person who needs pressure to perform to my best so really the current time is bringing the (academic) best in me, I expect the price I’ll pay for this will be social retardation or something of the like but that bridge can be crossed when I reach it.

Also, recently I’ve learnt that sometimes people are amazing. The one thing, I believe, I take for granted most of all is human contact. Strange though this will inevitably seem, conversation is actually one of the most important aspects of my life and of late I’ve had some damn good ones. Granted, some were in drunken states and some were in peculiar circumstance but I think I may have found the key to a certain degree of happiness – throwing away your inhibitions and, in cases, scruples, and diving into a conversation that you’d never have. Be it with a total stranger, like the lady at the bus stop who actually made my day, or be it something which you haven’t dared discuss. Find someone you truly trust and go for it. The sense of relief, coupled with a bizarre sense of achievement, is truly fantastic.

Now I really am being far too happy. And I expect that you’re most probably sick to the back teeth of it too. So I shall quit while I’m (somewhat) ahead and wrap things up. Besides, I have law revision to do!

So there you go – things change, people change and sometimes, just once in a while, it can be for the best!

Normal service shall resume shortly.

p.s – The photo has no relevance but it caught my eye so I put it up.