Change of path?

Ok, so to fill in the picture I’m currently revising for the first of my A level exams. A week today I have law and general studies, and it’s safe to say that the novelty of college has well and truly worn off. I’m currently on a, slightly deserved (it must be said,) break from re-revising sanctions and sentencing. I was so pleased when I finally managed to recite the 10 sections of the Criminal Justice Act 2003 that we have to memorise in order to justify our generic babbling on the topic of sentencing that I decided to give myself a break from writing. Strangely this seemed like something different to do.

Recently the imminent exams have been very much at the forefront of my mind. Revision has become the main staple of my routine and other things have taken a back seat. I say that as though it’s a bad thing, but for me it definitely isn’t. You see, when it comes (or rather came) to exams I’ve normally always taken the mindset of “I know what I need to know, and I’ll revise the rest later if I get time.” Now of course, procrastination takes its toll and eventually you reach the week before the exam and realise that you know pathetically little. Thankfully, however, GCSEs can be passed without masses of revision providing you listened during the lessons. However it seems that unless you read, re-read, summarise, revise and re-revise every aspect of the A level course you are doomed to failure. It’s a strange type of pressure which I think, or rather hope, I’m actually managing to deal with.

That’s right, I just raised a positive point! In contrast with my usual style of criticising everything and anything that’s wrong in the world recently I’ve really started to see the bright side! For example, I expected to be feeling pretty crap around this time and actually I’m pretty mediocre (in a good way) and things that used to really bug me are now starting to pass me by blissfully. Now I really feel as though I should write about something negative, sombre or thought-provoking right about now but to be quite honest I’d rather bask in the moment.

I don’t know quite what to pin my current state on, but that’s not going to stop me trying! Firstly I’ve been quite relieved recently, various stresses have dwindled and my lack of sleep has been greatly compensated for over the Christmas holidays. Secondly, I’m quite hopeful for the near future – thing’s seem to be looking up. And thirdly, and most importantly, the people around me (by which I mean emotionally [ie, friends] not physically) are by far the most amazing people I’ve ever countered and I really thrive in their presence. You know who you are, thank you!

So yeh, I guess this goes some way to prove that we all cycle in our emotions to a degree. Obviously some people less than others, and some people more. And also that sometimes you can find relative happiness in the strangest of places. I’d say I’m the type of person who needs pressure to perform to my best so really the current time is bringing the (academic) best in me, I expect the price I’ll pay for this will be social retardation or something of the like but that bridge can be crossed when I reach it.

Also, recently I’ve learnt that sometimes people are amazing. The one thing, I believe, I take for granted most of all is human contact. Strange though this will inevitably seem, conversation is actually one of the most important aspects of my life and of late I’ve had some damn good ones. Granted, some were in drunken states and some were in peculiar circumstance but I think I may have found the key to a certain degree of happiness – throwing away your inhibitions and, in cases, scruples, and diving into a conversation that you’d never have. Be it with a total stranger, like the lady at the bus stop who actually made my day, or be it something which you haven’t dared discuss. Find someone you truly trust and go for it. The sense of relief, coupled with a bizarre sense of achievement, is truly fantastic.

Now I really am being far too happy. And I expect that you’re most probably sick to the back teeth of it too. So I shall quit while I’m (somewhat) ahead and wrap things up. Besides, I have law revision to do!

So there you go – things change, people change and sometimes, just once in a while, it can be for the best!

Normal service shall resume shortly.

p.s – The photo has no relevance but it caught my eye so I put it up.

What makes a human being into a person?

Person: a human being regarded as an individual.

Are human beings really individuals? Or are we simply blind to the harsh realities of the human race?

There comes a point it one’s life when the seeds of doubt begin to germinate. For some, this comes with the hormonal bombardment of adolescence, for others the dreaded mid-life crisis. For some people, it is only in the closing hours of life that the creeping shades of contemplation cast a shadow over the already worn pavement of life. This is the point at which you realise that your life has become a groundhog day (referring to the film, not the 2nd February.) It seems that we all reach a point where we essentially live the same day, week or month over and over and over again, with only negligible differences. You take the same bus to work, you use the same elevator, you meaninglessly greet the same people and you sit at the same desk every day. Sure, you may choose a mocha one day and a latte the next, and you may even walk once in a while but essentially you have entered the infinite loop of human existence.

We humans live in routines, we abide by the same protocols and precedents every day. We do not vary our daily activities because doing so would throw us into the unknown, an unknown where we do not control all of the variables. In this sense we are no different from any other species at all. Once we find a routine that suits us, we abide by it, we gain security from it and eventually it becomes part of who we are. We therefore are no longer our own people, but our routines’ people. We are not defined by who we are, but what we do. It seems that being individual is no longer part of the human mind-set. Individuality cannot breed familiarity, and without familiarity we seem to be unable to gain security. And humans thrive on security. Why plunge into the dangers of unknown when we can live a looped-life in which we know that there will be no perilous dangers waiting around the corner?

It takes a special type of person (and i believe they are true people) to do something about this. Most of us simply revel in our routine. We try to improve our lives slightly by taking that overtime and paying for an extra holiday, or cutting out the mocha and slimming down. By doing this we convince ourselves that we have broken the monotony and we therefore convince ourselves (perhaps subliminally) that we are our own masters.

Yet in doing this, we simply join another majority. Because we have done what every other person would do, we have shown that we are part of the loop. We conform to the human psyche and in doing so, simply prove that we are incapable of being individual. If we are not individual then are we really people? Can we truly class ourselves as “people” if we essentially live by the same principles of apes? Stay safe, look after ourselves, make ourselves comfortable.

Only when we leave our comfort zones can we appreciate what it is to be a real person. When we visit the other side of the world and help those who are truly in need, when we complete the impossible, when we overcome the overwhelming. It is in the strangest places that we find true human nature. Often it is where people have nothing and no opportunity to establish routine that it becomes clear what it is to be a person. For example, recently I took a trip to Kenya. Some of the locals there live in absolute poverty, yet their passion and willingness to live is unparalleled by anything I have ever encountered. In the face of sheer adversity these people forge a life in which there are no certainties, in which every day is a blessing and every meal could well be their last. Yet their appreciation for life, and for each other, shows that regardless of our environment we all have the ability to be great.

So can we really ever break the loop? Those within the loop often want to break it. Yet those outside of the loop pray that they could be in it. Alas we reach the epitome of the human thought process – The grass is always greener on the other side.